Is that belt a switchblade?

Okay, I have to admit. Sometimes being redneck has its drawbacks. And living among them can be a hassle as it recently proved to be when I went to the airport. I am an old pro at this. No laptop, liquids in a ziploc easily accessible to tak out of my bag, shoes and jacket in the bin, keys in my briefcase. In my hand was my boarding pass and I breezed right through the metal detector.

But Bubba stopped me. "Sir, may I see that belt? You don't have a knife concealed in that belt buckle do you?"

"No, sir," I replied. "It's Ferragamo, you know the I-tal-ian designer!?"

I mean it wasn't like I had a camouflage blackberry holster attached to my belt! Good grief. Welcome to the country, boys and girls. Ha!